Three years.
Sometimes it feels like Aurora came into our lives only yesterday. And sometimes, when I look at all the photographs, videos, trips, sleepless nights, laughter, tears, first words, tiny arguments, and endless cuddles, it feels like we have already lived several lifetimes together.
Motherhood was not something that entered my life exactly according to a carefully written plan. But somehow, that unplanned chapter has given me some of the very best things in my life; the best moments, the most precious memories, the hardest lessons, and a kind of love I probably could never have understood before becoming a mother.
These three years haven’t always been easy. Aurora and I have both struggled, adjusted, learned, cried, laughed, travelled, grown, and discovered each other.
And somehow, through all the good days and the difficult ones, life with this tiny human has been amazingly beautiful.
Disclaimer: I wanted to write it on her first birthday, but procrastination is my natural trait, so I finally wrote it on her 3rd birthday. Cheers to me.
From “Ma” to “Faguni”
There are some moments in motherhood that probably look very ordinary from the outside but mean the entire world to a mother.
Hearing Aurora call me “Ma” for the first time was one of them.
Then, as she learned to speak more, I somehow collected an entire list of names.
Mummu. Mumma. Amma. Ma.
And eventually—Faguni.
The first time she properly said my name, “Faguni,” I was overwhelmed in a way that’s difficult to explain.
Maybe I was supposed to tell her, “Don’t call me Faguni, call me Ma!”
But I didn’t want to.
I enjoyed it.
Actually, I enjoy every version of my name that comes from her.
There is something incredibly sweet about discovering how your child sees you, calls you, and creates her own little language around you.
A Tiny Traveller From the Very Beginning
If I had to choose some of my happiest memories from these three years, travelling with Aurora would take up a very big part of the list.
Travelling has always been something her father and I love, and apparently Aurora decided very early that she belonged to our little travel team too.
Her Travel Story Started at One Month Old
We didn’t wait until she became “old enough” to travel.
From around one month old, we started taking her places.
Narayanganj, Mymensingh, Sylhet, Sundarbans, Cox’s Bazar, and many other destinations slowly became part of her tiny travel history.
At one point, we used to joke that by the time she was six months old, she had already visited around six different places.
And the funniest part?
She genuinely seems to enjoy going out just as much as her mother and father do.
Maybe the travel gene is real after all.
From the Philippines to Pokhara
Over the years, our little traveler has gone much farther.
We travelled together in the Philippines. We made memories in Pokhara, Nepal. We explored different parts of Bangladesh together. Thanks to the WordPress & WordCamp community.
But some trips have stayed especially close to my heart.
For her birthday last year, we travelled to Thanchi, Bandarban.
It was one of the most relaxed and beautifully unplanned trips we have ever had.
Before Aurora, her father and I travelled differently. After having her, travel changed.
It became slower. Sometimes more complicated. Definitely less predictable.
But somehow, it also became more meaningful.
Watching a place through your child’s eyes gives travelling an entirely different kind of joy.
This year, we again found ourselves in Bandarban, celebrating her birthday almost two months early and adding another beautiful memory to her third year.
And she has had plenty of adventures without her father too; travelling with me, my parents, my sisters, and the rest of our family.
Every one of those trips holds a different little story in our hearts.
Then Came One of Our Hardest Chapters
Of course, these three years weren’t made only of beautiful travel photos and cute first words.
One of the hardest phases of motherhood came when I had to return to work after my maternity leave.
Aurora was fully breastfed.
She simply didn’t want formula milk.
And that made our separation incredibly difficult.
There were days when she would stay three or four hours without eating anything, simply waiting for me to come back.
During my office lunch break, I would rush home, feed her, and then return to work.
And then she would wait again.
Another three hours. Sometimes four.
Those days were exhausting.
For her.
For me.
Probably for everyone around us.
Thankfully, babies grow. Phases change. Slowly, that particular struggle became part of our past.
But that’s one thing motherhood keeps teaching me: when one difficult phase ends, a completely new one is probably standing around the corner.
The Attachment We Are Still Learning to Navigate
I sometimes feel that going back to work so early created a fear of separation in Aurora.
Even when I am home, she doesn’t like being away from me for very long.
Five minutes can sometimes feel like too much for her.
There is obviously a sweet side to having your baby want you so much.
But there is also guilt.
As a working mother, that guilt finds you very easily.
You wonder whether you are giving enough time.
Whether you should work less.
Whether you’re somehow missing pieces of your child’s childhood.
And then reality reminds you that parenting isn’t lived inside perfect parenting videos.
We Couldn’t Do Everything “Perfectly” And That’s Our Reality
We have watched the parenting videos too.
The ones about keeping children completely screen-free.
And yes, I would have loved to do that.
But we couldn’t.
As working parents, we have had to depend on other people to help raise and care for our child. And when someone else is giving their time, energy, and attention to your baby, expecting them to follow every single parenting rule exactly the way you would isn’t always realistic.
So Aurora wasn’t a 100% screen-free baby.
That’s one of those areas where reality looked different from the parenting plan in our heads.
And then there is sugar.
Our girl has a serious sweet tooth.
Chocolate? Yes.
Ice cream? Definitely.
And pretty much every other sugary thing she discovers? Also yes.
Unfortunately, that love has already given us one parenting regret, cavities in her little teeth.
It’s something we’re dealing with now, trying to build better habits and desperately hoping there will be no more cavities joining the family.
Three years into motherhood, I have learned that being a parent means carrying plenty of little regrets alongside all that love.
You learn.
You adjust.
And then you try again.
Somewhere Along the Way, She Became Really Funny
As Aurora grows, we are slowly discovering her personality.
And this tiny person has developed quite a sense of humor and even sarcasm.
Sometimes she surprises us with something so unexpectedly funny that I just look at her and wonder where this little character came from.
But one of my favorite things about her personality is how deeply caring she already is.
She notices our emotions.
She cares when I am upset.
She cares when her father is upset.
And if she senses that the two of us are arguing or getting angry with each other, she immediately seems to take responsibility for fixing the situation.
Suddenly, our tiny comedian appears.
She tries to make us laugh.
She acts silly.
She becomes the clown of the family until somehow the tension disappears.
And there are moments like that when I simply watch her and think:
How can such a tiny human carry so much love?
Giving Her a Family Beyond Just Her Parents
Life in Dhaka can make maintaining close family relationships surprisingly difficult.
Everyone is busy. Everyone lives their own routine. Distance, traffic, and work somehow turn even simple family visits into things that require planning.
But this is something I have tried very hard to protect for Aurora.
I want her to know her grandparents.
I want her to have memories with her aunts and uncles.
I want her to grow up knowing that family is bigger than just Mumma and Baba.
I want her childhood to be filled with people who love her.
So whenever possible, we travel together, visit family, stay connected, and let her create her own relationships with the people around us.
Because one day, I hope those relationships will become some of the safest places in her life.
One Decision I’m Especially Happy We Made
Among all the decisions we’ve made during these three years, enrolling Aurora in daycare is one I’m genuinely happy about.
She has always been a fast learner.
But after daycare, we started noticing even faster progress in many of her milestones.
She learned to interact more.
She observed other children.
She became exposed to activities, routines, and experiences that were difficult for us to recreate at home every day.
Like every parenting decision, daycare came with questions and worries in the beginning.
But looking at her now, I’m glad we made that choice.
Three Years Later, I Still Love Every Tiny Detail
Three years sounds like such a short time.
Yet the baby who once waited hours for me to return home is now talking to me, travelling with me, making jokes, calling me Faguni, caring about whether her parents are angry, developing her own preferences, and slowly becoming her own person.
And I love watching it happen.
I love her kindness.
I love her sarcasm.
I love her obsession with sweets, even though her dentist and I would both prefer a little less of it.
I love how attached she is to me.
I love how excited she becomes about going somewhere.
I love the strange things she says.
I love the things she does that make absolutely no sense.
I love every tiny detail of this tiny human.
Even the exhausting ones.
Maybe especially the exhausting ones—because I know they won’t stay forever.
And This Is Only the Beginning
Three years of motherhood have already given me more emotions than I knew a human heart could hold.
There have been tears.
There has been guilt.
There have been difficult goodbyes.
There have been tantrums and worries and moments when I wasn’t sure whether I was doing any of this correctly.
But there has also been laughter. So much laughter.
There have been mountains, flights, road trips, birthdays, first words, cuddles, and ordinary afternoons that somehow turned into memories.
And I know this is only the beginning.
There will be more travelling.
More laughter.
More crying.
More difficult phases.
More ridiculous conversations.
More firsts.
More memories that we don’t even know are waiting for us yet.
And through every version of life ahead, my biggest wish for Aurora is actually very simple.
I hope she grows into a generous, kind-hearted, and wonderful human being.
I hope she stays curious.
I hope she keeps caring about people.
I hope the world gives her endless reasons to explore it.
And years from now, when these three years feel impossibly far away, I hope I can look back and remember the tiny girl who called me Ma, Mumma, Amma, Mummu and sometimes, simply Faguni.
Cheers to our first three years, Aurora.
And cheers to all the beautiful chaos still waiting for us.
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